When I feel discouraged

I’m sitting here on my dirty couch in my cluttered living room watching 2 of my kids watch TV, 1 of them crawl around the floor chasing a ball he throws for himself to fetch.  The smell of the squash I am roasting is mingling with the sausage that is waiting to be served for dinner.  The sliding glass door is open allowing the warm fall air to float through my house.  I occasionally have to remind my 9 year old to stop hovering in the hall to watch tv and go read his book.  Soon I’ll serve dinner, check homework, sign papers, send kids for showers, verify that teeth have been brushed and faces washed then send 4 out of 5 kids to bed.  I’ll stay up too late before drifting off into a not particularly restful sleep.  Tomorrow I’ll crawl out of bed at 5am to start my day again.  It’s essentially the same every day.   It’s not exciting, it’s not particularly difficult, but it’s definitely not easy.  Sometimes I get into a funk.  I feel lost and discouraged, I feel unappreciated, I feel taken for granted…I feel mean because my rules have caused someone to regret their decisions and mistakes.  I feel like a well trained monkey could do my “job”   

Motherhood is my calling…at least at this point of my life.  Sadly some days…weeks…months it is the most soul sucking heart wrenching mind numbing thing I’ve ever done.  I see all the areas where I could do better.  I could yell less, I could hug more, I could make better meals (we’ve fed the children frozen pizza 2 out of the last 3 nights) I could make sure to do a load of laundry every day instead of my usual “No one has clean underwear!!!” mad dash to wash enough to last a few days.   I could spend more time with God, more time with friends, I could volunteer at the kids schools.  I see all my shortcomings and nothing that I am doing well.  

I looked up “What does the Bible say about Discouragement”  Real original I know. One of the first verses to pop up wasJohn 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.  
I’m not one to take things out of context so of course I read the rest of the passage.  Jesus is talking about the shepherd who lays down his life to protect his sheep.  The thief is of course the devil and Jesus is the shepherd.   What does it mean to have life abundantly?  Some people think it means that we should have all material things we need (or want) that we be blessed beyond measure with stuff and things and positive situations.  That’s a really immature way to think about it.  I know that sometimes life abundant means just being ALIVE…What a gift! To have a life! To be alive and able to serve the Lord and Savior.

The next verse was Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.     Oh how weak I am, and how often am I stuck with all these feelings and needs that I cannot articulate.  But The Spirit knows.  God knows my heart my mind better than I do.   How encouraging to know that he is interceding for me…not just on days that I feel less than, but everyday.

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Paul is talking about his thorn in his side here.  But since all of us have thorns of one thing or another I love this verse.  It kind of goes along with the Romans 8:26 verse above.  Christ’s grace is enough, His power is made perfect in weakness.  His GRACE is there to cover our weaknesses MY weaknesses.  I sparkly heart love this. 

When I feel discouraged My Lord is there to give me abundant life, to intercede on my behalf, to cover me with Grace. And he is there for you too. ❤

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